Socks!

I'm knitting socks.  I never thought it would happen, especially because I can buy socks for around fifty cents a pair.  And here I am, knitting a pair of socks.  Ugly ones, at that.  Thousands of stitches.  Time, effort, and money... for ugly socks.  What is wrong with me?  It's like the people who have a kid who is a little shit in every sense of the word.  They go through hell, only to wish, want, and eventually have another one.  Or three.  WHY???

I don't know, but they're freaking great.  Socks, not kids.  Kids are pretty good with lots of homemade gravy, but a bit too fatty for my taste.  No, socks.  

I'm looking at my dyed yarn, and it's a sad sight.  It really is pathetic.  The colors were supposed to be magenta and ebony, not dingy tan and dingy pinkish tan.  Oh well...

At least I heard from UNLV today.  All the time that I had been talking to those fools out there, I felt like I was crazy.  I finally got them all talking to each other, and today I got a call from Dave Loeb (the director of Jazz studies), basically saying that he was gonna get his bitches in line.  Nice.  

Seriously though... they had offered me $16,000 in Federal Loans, but still hadn't told me if I could go to their school.  WTF, mate?  Maybe I'll know something definite this week, so I won't just be lilting around in educational purgatory.

::  Why I Hate "Dukies"  ::

Can I ask you something, you imaginary people out there "reading" my blog (except for you, Rachel!  Holla...)?  Why is it that Duke students are retarded?  I mean, is there a particular reason for this?  I live in Durham, and I know it's not the water.  Is this trait consistent with other "Ivy-esque" league schools?  There are soooo many reasons, but here's my most recent one.

Today was free ice cream cone day at Ben and Jerry's (I love those homo-loving, tree-hugging, left-winged liberals!) .  By the way, all my music is themed, and if you get vanilla ice cream at B & J's... you're wrong.  You just are.  

Anyway, I wanted some ice cream.  I love ice cream.  I realize that many other people like it, too, but I didn't realize what a hot commodity it was.  Granted, Ben and Jerry's is to ice cream what Starbucks is to coffee.  High-end, but it shouldn't surprise me that stupid people abound there, too (see previous post).  Here's my beef -- the line was winding around the building to get free ice cream.  It was moving quickly, but there was still a significant wait.  

Women and children?  Heck no.  College students.  Dukies.  Ughhh...  Don't judge me yet -- I love college students.  I was one.  In fact, I aspire to be one again.  If I could be one for the rest of my life, I think I would.  There is one major difference, though -- I don't drive a Beemer.  "Hey brah, don't spill that free ice cream on the inside of my BMW... my mom would be soooo pissed!"

These little credit card granolas were cycling through the damned ice cream parlor three and four times like they hadn't eaten in days.  I felt like I was in Russia.  Sure, everyone likes ice cream, but these miserable little swamp donkeys could charge enough ice cream to fill an Escalade and not give it a second thought.  

You know, maybe I am being too hard on those annoying little shits.  Sure, mama and pops pay $35,512 a year for them to go to Duke, provide them with a credit card for emergencies (1,200 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets, a new iPhone, and an emergency trip to Cancun count, right?), and understand that a 'C' average is ok... it is unreasonable to expect them to buy their own ice cream ANY OTHER DAY OF THE FUCKING WEEK.  

Since they're all so concerned about going "green" and living off of the land... can I just kill them and roast them on a spit right in the middle of Duke Gardens?  I'd share!  I have never seen a breed of idiot so willing to self-exterminate.  Who else would walk in the middle of a busy street, telegraphing to the seediest part of Durham, "Hey!  I'm a rich, stupid Duke student with lots of money and no one would miss me if I disappeared, because I'm a complete and total dick-trickling chode bubble!"

Put that in your lacrosse racket and throw it.