I discovered that my grandmother is very, very ill. While this happens to people all over the world all the time, this is the first and only time it will ever happen to me. With circles, you can sense where they are going, even if you can't see it outright. That's how I feel -- I can see where this is all leading, but only God can see the outcome.
It's not a shock, but it is definitely very jarring. I mean, how are you supposed to feel? How do you deal with something like this? Joy for the end of suffering, sorrow for the loss of someone dear, anguish for the separation... it's such a mishmash of emotions. A whirlwind -- a cycling, swirling, spiraling whirlwind of emotions.
What does this all mean? I will probably be going home very soon. I have needed to spend some time with my family, and I hate that it takes something devastating to ensure that this happens. Perhaps there is a bit of good in these kinds of events: they help to shake us up, and make us realize that we need to keep on going.
Being that it is such short notice, and that I could get "the call" at any time, making plans is very difficult. Flights are basically out of the question, most of them ranging around $450. As it happens, I will probably be taking a train down to Alabama. That's one looooooong ride, let me tell you. I don't mind taking the train, because that ensures that I get lots of knitting time in. It leaves at midnight and arrives mid-morning the next day. The seating tends to be awkward and sometimes cramped, the timing is a hassle, the food is non-existent. Despite all of these things, I believe this still beats driving.
Ughh.... driving.
Of course, I need to plan for a knitting project that is pseudo-mindless, something I can do in limited lighting, and something that isn't going to be huge. I've tried that before -- didn't work out so well. Maybe I'll just bring several projects. I'll need something to keep my mind occupied, anyhow.
Other than that spot of news, life is relatively smooth. My Christmas knitting is comong along slowly, and my pursuits of starting a new sweater are becoming a little more realized.
Day by day, that's how I'm playing it now. If I can get past tomorrow, I'll be doing good.
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